This post was written by our nephew, Nathan Rogers. Nathan and his family are very dear to our hearts. Nathan and Jenny, both so very talented. Jenny is not a spinner of many plates, she is a spinner of many platters and does so with a heart filled with love and grace. Nathan is one that leads with love and wisdom. These words are written from a heart whose life has jumped many hurdles. Some were jumped at the ease of youth, others, later in life, he fell. God in His mercy and grace knew Nathan was not to be a causality, a trophy of Satan. God knew his journey and the journey of this family. God’s plans of good from the ashes. God knew the beauty, HE JUST NEEDED THE “PAINTBRUSH” to be handed back to HIM – Oh, the wonder of it all!
Written by Nathan Rogers:
No doubt, throughout each of our lives, we have found ourselves in situations (good or bad), where we have said to ourselves, “I don’t know why.” It may be a trial we are going through; death of a family member, marriage, financial issues, etc. It may be an opportunity you have been given; a promotion at work, mentoring opportunity, speaking engagement, etc. It may just be the hand we feel like we have been dealt in life; nonetheless, we find ourselves saying, “I don’t know why.” For one who does not know Christ, this can be a very hopeless, or even meaningless feeling, with seemingly no real answer to the question. For a child of God, this can be a feeling of confusion or discouragement, but deep down, the assurance is there, that an answer exists, if we are diligent enough to search for it. No doubt, the children of Israel found themselves saying, I don’t know why.” This possibly started when they found themselves in captivity to Babylon. However, in Jeremiah 29:13, they were assured of HOPE, if they were diligent enough to search for it. Jeremiah 29:13 states, “And you will seek ME and find ME when you search for Me with all your heart,” but it doesn’t end there! In verse fourteen it states, ” I will be found by you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back from your captivity.” If you continue reading in Chapter 29, the “why” is eloquently laid out.
A couple of years ago, my Aunt Donna (Donna Hare) reached out to me and asked if I would be willing to write an article for Join With Me Ministries. This ministry was started by my uncle Rayburn (Rayburn Hare) and my aunt Donna (Donna Hare). At the time, I said I was interested; however, I was extremely busy with my career and family. I told her I would eventually try to get around to writing something. Well, days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, months turned into years, and here we are. The Lord has laid it upon my heart to tell my story, and in forty-six years, there have been a lot of, “I don’t know why” moments. For some of those moments, I have found the answer, for others, I am still searching, and for others, I may not get the answer until I meet my Savior face to face in glory. I pray that my story, and the journey I am still on, will be an encouragement to all who take time to read this. I am an imperfect vessel who has made my share of mistakes in my lifetime. I have also been blessed with many opportunities and seen some major accomplishments, TO GOD BE THE GLORY! Both successes AND failures make me who I am, and one thing I have learned over the years is that if you want to make a difference in people’s lives, you must be willing to share both your successes AND failures. No, it is not nearly as fun to talk about the times we failed, but when we only talk about our successes, we give the impression we have it all together ALL the time, which we know is not true, making it hard for every day struggling people to relate to us. My prayer is that MY STORY will encourage you as you write YOUR story. That you will not be discouraged in your, “I Don’t Know Why” moments and that God will be glorified in every aspect of this article.
When I was three years old, my family moved halfway around the world to the Philippines. My dad, who is a Vietnam veteran, had been called by God to become a missionary pilot. My family would spend the next fourteen years ministering to be Filipino people. Throughout that time, our family would serve for four years, come home for a year of furlough to meet with supporting churches. Then we would head back to the Philippines for another four years. I could write an entire article, more likely a book, sharing my experiences in the Philippines, but I will save that for another time. Every time my family would come back to the states for furlough, we would stay with my grandmother at her farmhouse in Raleigh, North Carolina. We had so much fun catching up with family and friends, eating foods we were not able to get in the Philippines, and just enjoying the luxuries America had to offer. While I absolutely LOVED my time in the Philippines, and I wouldn’t take any amount of money for my experiences and the relationships built there, when it was time for my family to go back, I found myself doing a lot of reflecting. I didn’t get the opportunity to develop those grandparent relationships that all my cousins were able to develop growing up. I didn’t get the opportunity to play school sports like all my cousins and friends were able to. I didn’t get to watch my favorite sports teams on TV as everyone else did, and on and on it went. This was perhaps the first time I remember saying to myself, “I Don’t Know Why.”
Fast forward to my college career beginning in 1994. Having grown up in the Philippines, and loving my experience and the ministry there, I felt the Lord leading me into missions. Wanting to be obedient to the Lord’s leading, I enrolled in the Christian Missions program at Bob Jones University in Greenville, South Carolina. Thus beginning my college career as a Bob Jones “Preacher Boy.” My intent was too minor in music since I loved to sing. However, I failed my Music Theory which was a basic introduction to music class, and ended up minoring in Composite Speech and seemingly taking every speech class known to man. Interestingly enough, I hated speech in high school and had stated that I would NEVER take another speech class if I got through my high school class. I guess God had other plans. Yes, this brought about another, “I Don’t Know Why” moment. Nonetheless, I completed my college career with a B.A. degree in Christian Missions and a minor in Composite Speech. God taught me so much during my college career.
When I graduated from college, married Jenny, I felt it would be good for us to be involved in the local church prior to heading to the mission field. I took a position as a Youth Pastor at the Bible Baptist Church in Durham, North Carolina. During my four years at Bible Baptist, I had the opportunity to lead two teen mission trips to Mexico through OREMEX Ministries. It was through these mission trips, I felt the Lord’s leading to check into the possibility of joining the OREMEX team as a missionary. Could this be it? My opportunity to follow what I believed was God’s calling and become a missionary? Long story short, we began obtaining information and went through a series of meetings with the OREMEX leadership. We were all ready to pull the trigger and take the leap of faith when at the last minute, something just didn’t feel right. It was as if the Lord was saying, “I admire your willingness, but this is not My plan for you.” We did not end up going to Mexico, and once again, I was left saying to myself, “I Don’t Know Why.”
Once the dust had settled from our inquiry into OREMEX, the Lord began to lay upon my heart the possibility of going back to school for my master’s degree. I know this had to be the Lord because I said when I graduated from college, “I will NEVER go back to school!” Yes, another, “I WILL NEVER!” Well, God definitely has a sense of humor. Back to school, I went. In 2003, my family, Jenny, Jayden, our two year old son, and I moved to Kansas City, Missouri where I enrolled in the Heart of America Seminary and began my journey to obtain a master’s degree in Pastoral Studies. After two years, I received my M.A. degree and was ready for the next chapter in my life. Ironically, when I left Durham, North Carolina, I had also said to myself, “I am done with youth ministry.” Without going into a lot of detail. yet again, God had other plans for me, and yes, they included youth ministry. In 2004, the Lord led our family to Ottawa, Kansas, where I served as Youth Pastor for three and a half years. Throughout that time, I again found myself saying, “I Don’t Know Why.” While I thoroughly enjoyed my family’s time in Ottawa, and we gained so many new friends and family, at the end of our time there, I could feel the Lord telling me that it was time for the next step. Through a strange twist of events, God led our family to the Tampa, Florida area, my wife’s hometown, to potentially help with a church plant in the area. That is what ultimately led me to my current position with the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office, where I have been employed for the last thirteen years. I knew that I was going to have to find secular work when we moved to Tampa, being a church plant would not be able to provide sufficient income to support a family of five, by now. So, we moved in with my wife’s parents, and I began checking the paper for job opportunities. That is where I found the Sheriff’s Office.
Surprisingly, When I started with the Sheriff’s Office, I absolutely loved every aspect of it. The only problem was, I was not prepared for the transition from a ministry setting to a setting where God and Christian principles were not the priority. Much to my embarrassment and shame, when I started with the Sheriff’s Office, Jenny and I were not in a great place in our marriage. We were having communication issues, and the shiftwork, stress, and outside influences of the Sheriff’s Office did not help our issues at all. I spent as much time with my coworkers as I did with my family due to my work schedule, and as much as I hate to admit it, I was not in a great place in my spiritual life. As I mentioned previously, communication between Jenny and I was lacking, and when we did communicate, it generally ended up in a huge argument. That being the case, I gave up and figured it was not worth it anymore. I clammed up and internalized everything, figuring I was doomed to be miserable the rest of my life. As I mentioned earlier, I spent as much time with my coworkers as I did with my family, and in a world where God is not the priority, there is always someone who is willing to step up and be the “hero” in a married man’s seemingly screwed up marriage. That is exactly what happened. Without going into all the details, and again much to my embarrassment and shame, I engaged in an extramarital affair with one of my female coworkers, and before I knew it, my marriage of eleven years was on the verge of collapse. I was in an extremely dark place, and Satan was having a field day with me and our marriage. Although, I don’t know why, Jenny and I made the decision not to involve anyone other than a counselor that we mutually respected, in our situation. We felt if we were going to make it through this, we were going to have to have a neutral, respected party guide us through, and even if we slept in separate rooms of the house, we were not going to separate. We figured we would have to lean on God and on each other, and if one of us moved out of the house, there would be more room for outside influences. Yes, left alone with my thoughts and completely humiliated and in despair, I found myself saying, “I Don’t Know Why?”
Once everything was out in the open with Jenny, the first step was for Jenny and me to call the coworker I had been involved with and together let her know that Jenny knew everything, and it was OVER. This allowed Jenny and I to begin the healing process. By God’s grace, and with the help of our amazing counselor, we have weathered this catastrophic storm. There have been some extremely dark days. There has been unfathomable forgiveness that has had to be given; there had been extreme ownership of wrong decisions; there have been many tears shed and trust is still in the process of being restored, but again, by God’s grace, our marriage has been preserved and Satan’s plan has been thwarted by God’s provision.
Fast forward to today, eleven years later. In an effort to keep this an article and not a book, I am going to attempt to bring this to a close. Throughout our lives, we are going to find ourselves saying, “I Don’t Know Why,” A LOT! But there is almost always a “But,” and for believers, it is most often a “BUT God.” “I Don’t Know Why,” God allowed me to be taken halfway around the world to the Philippines as a kid, BUT what I do know, is that to this day, God continues to use my experiences, and the relationships I built there, to shape me and touch the lives I come in contact with, daily. I would say that is a fair exchange. “I Don’t Know Why” God chose not to send us to the mission field, BUT what I do know, is that God has given me a ministry within the Sheriff’s Office that not many people get. I am currently operating as both a sworn officer and a volunteer chaplain. I am a part of the agency Peer Support team, and the ministry opportunities are endless. God has blessed me and my family beyond words and this job, allowing me to be promoted to the position of Lieutenant, thus allowing me to affect change in a world not many Christians can. I would say this is a fair exchange. “I Don’t Know Why” God allowed my family to go through a devastating affair that almost ended my marriage, BUT what I do know, is that my marriage is stronger now than it ever was. We have one more amazing child that was added to our family, thanks to my wonderful wife, Jenny. God has allowed us the opportunity to share our story and minister to others who are struggling in their marriage. None of this would have happened if God had not allowed us to go through what we went through. I am in NO WAY justifying what I did. It was wrong in every way, BUT GOD has a unique way of using our mistakes, for HIS glory.
So, in closing, I leave you with this. You may have a lot of “I Don’t Know Why” moments in your life, but you can always rest on this tried-and-true biblical promise from Psalm 18, “As for God, His way is perfect.” May God guide you, direct you and bless you, as you write your story.
